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Sketch: And the winners are …

Joke of the week: Frankie Boyle
“I’ve been watching the conference. The Tories really are down on families who haven’t worked for three generations … because they know that once you reach five they become aristocracy.”

Most surprising attendee: Labour press officer
It turns out that, much like gangs of football hooligans, parties can send “spotters” to keep an eye on the other mob.

Song of the week: Plaistow Patricia by Ian Dury And The Blockheads
This was the choice of Super Furry Animals drummer Dafydd Ieuan when asked by the Star what song best summed up the Tories. The lyrics are too lurid to print so we’ll leave you to look them up.

Book of the week: The Joy of Tax by Richard Murphy.
David Cameron gave a plug to this tome by Jeremy Corbyn’s economics guru in his conference speech. He revealed he’d even taken it home to show wife Samantha … but thought it was full of porkies.

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