A Satyr for Mr Johnson

You excel at the limerick, win prizes, well done!
You’re the man from Devizes, its honourable member,
though I’d thought a man of your stature might spawn
heroic couplets — triplets, octets! — who knows
how many lines you’d spaff with a wit your size,
Churchillian orator, panel-show guest,
honourable member for the after-dinner circuit.

I can see you now, getting funnier by the minute
as the whiskies go down and your pockets swell
with roubles. When you get a laugh you smirk,
or bark like a dog. I’m surprised the member can rise
after so many stiff ones. You don’t even remember
how many you’ve had — six, or seven? — or the last
lie you told, or how many thousands died.

Richard Lambert

Richard Lambert works for the NHS in Norwich. His poetry collection The Nameless Places came out in 2017. The Wolf Road, a novel for young adult readers, was published last year.