Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey?

by Maria Duarte

If you love your children and the spirit of Christmas then you will do wise to stay clear of this third in a franchise, directed by Debbie Isitt, which may scar them irreparably.

In light of the Jimmy Savile scandal, it beggars belief that its central character is a creepy man with no teaching qualifications who is left to run amok in a primary school.

There is nothing endearing or sweet about Mr Poppy (Marc Wootton) who it transpires is illiterate as well as slow-witted and who gives teaching assistants a bad name.

This plot involves a missing donkey when Poppy and the kids go to New York with their new teacher (Martin Clunes)

The convoluted storyline is full of insurmountable holes, despite the best efforts by its impressive cast which includes Catherine Tate and Celia Imrie. 

It’s neither funny nor charming and it was like watching someone else's video of their children's excruciating school play production.

I didn't think this franchise could get any worse but it has hit rock bottom with this ass of a sequel.