I WAS never any good at football as a kid, but even I understood that being a “goal hanger” invited contempt.

“Goal hanging” meant lurking round the opposition’s goalmouth for most of the game, waiting to pick up any stray balls and knock them in.

The “goal hanger” was trying to get the personal glory of scoring without putting in the effort to increase the team’s overall score.

They are a passenger in the team, willing to risk the game just to raise their own profile.

The offside rule is designed to stop goal hanging, but in ref-less, jumper-for-goalposts games players relied on moral force — aka pointing at the offender and sneering “goal hanger.”

Labour’s new leadership have developed a bit of a “goal hanging” approach.

Labour’s shadow education secretary Kate Green actually opposed teacher unions’ call for secondary school kids to use masks in hallways — then at the last minute, with the government about to do a U-turn, Labour suddenly “demanded” this use of masks in schools.

Similarly Labour in England did little to push for free school meals to continue over the summer (though Welsh Labour did more), then tried to claim the government’s U-turn in response to footballer Marcus Rashford’s campaign as their victory.

So what do we do? There is obviously a temptation to just moan at Sir Keir Starmer (a temptation I am obviously finding hard to resist here).

But we do also want to score goals and improve the quality of the team. So I think the left needs to keep up the pressure, as the government clearly will U-turn in response to grassroots campaigns.

But we also need to help the better MPs to speak out and be heard sooner and louder — to hearten the campaigners, pressure the front bench and show that the left knows how to score without dithering in the penalty box.