TRADITIONALLY the first item of business of any elected prime minister following an acrimonious leadership spat is the night of the long knives and the settling of scores.

And if this week has shown us anything, apart from the fact that what passes for politics in this country appears to be irredeemably broken, it is that Theresa May is nothing if not a traditionalist.

It wasn’t long before heads began to roll and cronies, as well as some enemies, were advanced in the grand old tradition of Machiavellian diplomacy.

May was quick to illustrate that her tenure at No 10 would be predicated not on bread and circuses but the carrot and a bloody big stick.

The thing about participation in a coup or an overt act of political betrayal — as a large number of Labour MPs may soon find out — is that you had better make damn sure the target is dead in the water or retribution will be swift and blinding.

Thus it was that the loathsome Michael Gove, who has sought, and spectacularly failed, to elevate backstabbing to an art form was among the first to have his neck unceremoniously thrust onto the chopping block.

There is a delicious irony in the fact that the now former justice secretary found himself on the receiving end at the last but it was hardly surprising — May and Gove have hated each other for years.

What was more alarming were the appointments.

Who in their right mind would appoint Boris Johnson Foreign Secretary?

Unless, that is, they were deliberately planning to commence hostilities and trigger World War III.

Which, given the events of the last few months, is not beyond the realms of possibility.

Given his previous comments about piccaninnies with watermelon smiles I’m guessing aid to African nations will not figure highly on the agenda.

And then we had Philip Hammond, the hawkish arms dealer’s best friend, named as Chancellor of the Exchequer.

His first act in the new role was to claim that there was no need to panic, which is precisely the opposite of what every financial expert in the world is warning.

So he’s gone from Field Marshal Haig to Corporal Jones in the space of 24 hours.

In the words of another much-loved character from the same series, “We’re doomed!”