POOR old David Cameron. All he wanted to do was run the country into the ground while simultaneously greasing the palms of the wealthy and lining his own pockets in the time-honoured tradition of all Tory premiers — and he couldn’t even get that right.

Having effectively forced his own resignation over the result of the EU referendum which he called, Cameron was probably hoping for a few months to “chillax” before he jumped on the gruelling treadmill that is the after-dinner speaking circuit cash cow.

Unfortunately for him, what was supposed to be a golden handshake is looking more and more like a golden shower.

I mean what is the world coming to when you can’t chuck a few gongs at your chums to stack the House of Lords in your party’s favour?

The row over Cameron’s resignation honours list continued to rumble on yesterday, with ever more nominees jumping ship like the wreck-averse rodents they so closely resemble.

This should come as no surprise to Cameron, since that’s why he got on with them in the first place.

Those who did accept include Michael Fallon, Patrick McLoughlin, Oliver Letwin and Hugo Swire.

Meanwhile, George Osborne becomes a Companion of Honour, which is probably the very definition of irony.

Incidentally, those seeking the source of the leak could do worse than look to Letwin. After all, he has a track record of leaving confidential documents lying around in public places.

But, so far, so predictable. Cronyism is the reason the honours list was created in the first place after all. Then it turns bizarre.

Among the, ahem, luminaries on the list is Samantha Cameron’s stylist Isabel Spearman, who received an OBE for “political and public service.”

Really? Unless that’s a typo and the text is meant to refer to a particularly intimate waxing regime.

But, as is so often the case, the last word in hypocrisy came from that well-known exemplar of fair play and decorum Alastair Campbell, who tweeted: “If there was honour in our honours, there ain’t none now. Embarrassing to be British sometimes.”

So, like when Tony Blair gave a gong to Bernie Ecclestone in exchange for a million quid, or when you illegally invaded Iraq, then?

As with everything else, Cameron is certainly not the first to reward his cronies. What stands out is the fact that he did it so incompetently.