Riot Club (15)

Directed by Lone Scherfig

3/5

Anybody with a healthy regard for the state of the nation would welcome a chainsaw massacre of the elitist Bullingdon Club after seeing this film.

Written and adapted by Laura Wade from her 2010 stage play Posh, it’s an attempt to satirise the Etonian elite — infamous for smashing windows at Oxford University’s Christ Church college in 1894 and again in 1927.

Here the Bullingdon is renamed the Riot Club, a reference to the misdemeanours of David Cameron, Boris Johnson and George Osborne in 1987 before they later dubbed inner-city demonstrations as riots.

Suffice to say the film’s packed with the best of British young thespians, including a few members of the acting aristocracy such as Freddie Fox and Max Irons.

Among the main characters, working-class woman Charlie (Natalie Dormer) provides a moral compass, though the female sex is categorised as “girls for now, girls for later,” or only suitable for shagging.

Other sexual proclivities are suggested, with the emphasis on symbolising the club’s Dionysian debauchery before they begin training in the Machiavellian dark arts.

The creeps are  led by Alistair Ryle (Sam Claflin) and they hire a local pub to get “chateau-ed,” including hiring a working girl who refuses £27,000  — three years of tuition fees — to fellate 10 of the chaps.

Naturally, their carnage is covered up by the college, especially since their feckless parents supply them with fees and tax-free funds.

Apart from depicting buffoons, bullies and brown-noses, the film serves to remind us that there are a few so-called chavs capable of resistance, notably women such as the landlord’s daughter (Brown Findlay).

The political point is underscored by Tom Hollander playing a government grandee, who reminds us that this scum are being groomed as future leaders.

Their message, chorused by the current Cabinet and echoed on the backbenches, is: “I’m sick to fucking death of poor people.”

Sadly, the Riot Club’s parody of a tragedy is increasingly uneven and even preposterous as it descends into farce.

Not to matter, heads on spikes still come to mind.

Jeff Sawtell

Grand Piano (15)

Directed by Eugenio Mira

3/5

Spanish director Eugenio Mira strives to wring out some suspense from what appears to be Moonlight Sonata meets Speed in which a saucer-eyed Elijah Wood plays Tom, a virtuoso pianist.

He’s prone to stage fright, none more so than when he’s encouraged to take on an “impossible” piece entitled La Cinquette.

The problem is, after stumbling on stage and preparing, he hears instructions from a mysterious voice (John Cusack) through his earpiece not to play a wrong note.

With a laser-light gun threatening, he’s also aware his wife (Kerry Bishe) is a target too and he’s got to build to a pitch that will release a secret … no spoiler.

After playing like a man possessed and failing to foil his assassin’s hirelings, this film’s preposterous plot builds towards a frantic finale which ultimately can’t mask its shortcomings.

Jeff Sawtell

Magic in the Moonlight (12A)

Directed by Woody Allen

3/5

After the substantial Oscar-winning Blue Jasmine, Woody Allen explores his whimsical side in this rather charming rom-com set in the south of France of the 1920s.

Featuring another impressive ensemble, it stars Colin Firth as a world-famous magician who tries to expose Sophie (Emma Stone) as a fake psychic medium. The irony is she is the one who unmasks him as the “great Chinese conjurer Wei Ling Soo.”

The film opens with an unrecognisable Firth performing his magic act in Berlin before the action moves to the sun-drenched Cote d’Azur and takes on a PG Woodhouse look and feel to it.

Firth is wonderfully grumpy and pompous as Stanley, who doesn’t believe in spiritualists, while Stone is sweet and alluring as Sophie who slowly wins him over.

But it is Eileen Atkins who virtually steals the film as Stanley’s wise and grounded Aunt Vanessa.

This is a film that is light on substance but heavy on magic and charm and, although reminiscent of Midnight in Paris, it is not quite in the same league.

Not one of Allen’s best works but it is delightfully entertaining.

Maria Duarte

Wish I Was Here (15)

Directed by Zach Braff

4/5

Zach Braff returns with a smart, wise-cracking yet moving comedy drama about love, family and midlife crisis.

Braff, who co-wrote it with his brother Adam J Braff, delivers the same unique style and wonderful soundtrack as his inaugural film Garden State.

Braff plays Aidan Bloom, a jobless actor and non-practising Jew who is still pursuing his dream thanks to his wife Sarah (Kate Hudson), the sole breadwinner.

When his father (Mandy Patinkin) falls ill they can’t afford to continue sending their kids (Joey King and Pierce Gagnon) to a private Hebrew school and Aidan has to rethink his life.

The razor-sharp dialogue and acute observations about family and Jewish life are very evocative of Woody Allen and the Coen brothers.

It is painfully funny and equally touching without being overly sentimental with glorious performances from the whole cast. A must-see.

Maria Duarte

A Walk Among the Tombstones (15)

Directed by Scott Frank

3/5

Liam Neeson looks suitably shabby as Matt Scudder, a private gumshoe with a drinking problem, who’s obviously a caricature of Sam Spade.

We know, because his wannabe partner (TJ Brian “Astro” Bradley) keeps repeating the comparison as they pursue a murder mystery.

This includes trying to stop a couple of psycho cops (David Harbour and Adam Davis Thompson), out to assassinate drug barons and their progeny.

Despite it being 1999, Scudder rejects computerisation, preferring instead to use the phone box and avoiding excessive use of the gun.

It’s an entertaining, if nonsense, yarn from Lawrence Block’s novel that recalls the time when dialogue was delivered with deadly precision.

Sadly, much of the back story has been glossed over and we’re forced to suffer the 12 Steps programme as though the film were a religious ritual.

No wonder they want to drown their sorrows.

Jeff Sawtell